I fell in love with baseball at a young age and the game has been a major part of my life ever since.

I played baseball in high school and college, then I got into coaching.

I coached high school baseball for four years, then college baseball for 13 years (six as an assistant and seven as a head coach).

Coaching is a rewarding profession, but it’s also difficult, especially as a head coach.

Head coaches have to:

• Set standards and rules for the program (non-negotiables)

• Inspire players to buy into the standards and hold them accountable when they don’t

• Evaluate players (and assistants) on standards that aren’t always easy to measure

• Determine who plays and who sits on the bench

• Manage players (and their parents) who are upset because they aren’t playing or don’t like their role

• Adhere to college or departmental policies

• Spend long hours planning practices and game plans, working on the field, recruiting, and more

I could keep going, but hopefully you get the point.

When I was hired as a head coach, I was prepared, but I wasn’t “ready.” Nobody is “ready.” There were many things I could only learn through experience on the job.

Here are ten of the most important lessons I learned:

Be Where Your Feet Are

When I was an assistant coach, I struggled to stay present.

I worked very hard for the players I coached, but I also longed for a head coaching job. I wanted to run my own program and do things MY way as soon as possible.

I spent more time on coaching job boards than I care to admit.

In hindsight, I wish I would have been more patient. I wish I would have focused solely on performing my assistant coaching duties to the best of my ability for at least five year before even thinking about a head coaching job.

The time I spent on job boards would have been better spent building relationships with my current players (or spending time with my wife and kids).

With this mindset, I would have better served my current players AND I would have been better prepared for a head coaching position.

I didn’t realize this at the time, and I regret that.

This applies to ALL walks of life, not just coaching.

Action Steps:

Whatever position you’re in, “be where your feet are.” Do your best possible job here and now. Trust that the promotions will come when you’re ready.

Share Your Opinions

As an assistant, I often shied away from sharing my opinions with the head coach for fear of “rocking the boat.”

As a head coach, I often shied away from sharing my opinions with the athletic director or more experienced colleagues for the same reason.

I didn’t want my ideas shot down. I avoided confrontation.

Action Steps:

Certainly you should express your opinions with tact, but your opinions are valuable and worthy of consideration.

Keeping your opinions to yourself is selfish. You may be cheating your organization of ideas that will benefit everyone individually and collectively.

Define YOUR Standards

As a head coach, I realized too late that it was MY responsibility for setting non-negotiatble standards.

I certainly HAD standards, but I didn’t define them or communicate them effectively because I wanted my players to “have a voice.”

We selected a Leadership Council each year and THEY were responsible for setting the standards each year. The standards changed from year to year, creating confusion for everyone.

Don’t get me wrong, the players NEED to have a voice, but it was my responsibility to set the bedrock standards for the program and I didn’t do that.

Action Steps:

As the leader, set 3-5 foundational, non-negotiable standards for your company, organization, or team.

Next, communicate the standards consistently and clearly. Leave no room for interpretation about how the standards are defined.

Finally, communicate how everyone will be held accountable for upholding the standards. Clearly define what it looks like to uphold the standards and violate the standards.

Keep Plans Flexible

Planning practices was one of my favorite tasks as a college baseball coach.

I spent hours planning everything to the minute. I took pride in organizing efficient practices that maximized the space available and minimized down time and standing around.

I became so attached to my practice plans, however, that I struggled when things didn’t go as planned.

I was too rigid. I didn’t adjust well on the fly.

There were times when a portion of practice didn’t go well. Usually this involved the players not performing a drill up to my standards.

Rather than continuing with the drill until we got it right, I often moved on anyway because that’s what I had planned.

I was more attuned to keeping practice moving according to my plan than I was to how practice was actually going.

Action Steps:

Planning is important, but plan with flexibility in mind.

Anticipate that things will NOT go as planned all the time and be able and willing to adjust on the fly if necessary.

Build contingency plans for how you will respond to unforseen circumstances.

Be willing to throw your plans out the window if necessary.

Process > Outcome

I PREACHED process over outcome as a college coach, but I didn’t live it. I’m sure my players saw right through my inconsistency.

My emotions and moods fluctuated wildly based on the scoreboard.

When we won, I was the best coach in the country and could do no wrong. When we lost, everything was my fault and I hated life (and myself).

This approach wasn’t healthy for me or my players.

Action Steps:

Adopt a mindset that HOW you perform is more important than the end result.

Create systems to evaluate the process and stick to them, regardless of the end result.

It’s natural to be upset when you lose, but learn strategies to calm yourself down and focus on the lessons to be learned.

Make IMPROVEMENT your primary measure of success.

Ego Is the Enemy

I first heard the phrase “Ego Is the Enemy” from Ryan Holiday, who wrote a book by the same name.

My ego was front and center when I coached college baseball.

Being “THE” best coach in the country was my primary motivation.

I chased championships and winning because I wanted to be RECOGNIZED as the best, even though I had no control over how I was recognized by others.

This ego-focused approach proved to be a recipe for depression, despair, and self-loathing when my team didn’t win.

Action Steps:

Avoid attaching your identity to anything outside your control (which is most things, including winning).

Instead, identify with the process of continual improvement. Define success as becoming a better version of yourself. Identify with HOW your go about your work rather than the end result.

Define Expectations Clearly to Prospects

When I recruited prospective student-athletes as a college coach, I was afraid to say anything that might turn the prospects off.

I shied away from laying my demanding expectations out clearly for fear of losing the prosepect to a competitor.

I imagine the result felt like a “bait and switch” to my players. Since I didn’t clearly communicate my expectations during the recruiting process, they were caught off guard when they joined the program and learned my expectations.

I worked hard to correct during what would become my final recruiting cycle, but I didn’t stick around to see how it might have paid off.

Action Steps:

Communicate your expectations and standards clearly and confidently when recruiting prospects for your company, organization, or team.

Make it easy for prospects to “opt-out” before joining your program if they aren’t comfortable with your expectations.

Prioritize Your Family

I struggled mightily with work-life balance when I coached college baseball.

Coaching CONSUMED my mind almost all the time. I struggled to “put coaching away” and be present with my family when I was home.

I was notorious for sending recruiting messages or planning practices while my kids watched TV or played by themselves.

I even used to send recruiting messages while in church!

My obession with coaching put an intense strain on my family and my relationships with my wife and kids.

Ironically, this constant tension negatively affected my coaching performance. It was a lose-lose situation.

Action Steps:

If you have a family, make them a priority. Safeguard your time with them.

Plan HOW you will spend time with your family ahead of time. If you have activities planned, you’ll be less likely to get bored and default to coaching tasks.

Create a ritual to provide a clear division between getting home from work and spending time with your family. For example, you might take a 10-minute shower as soon as you get home to “wash away” your work time and reset so you can give your full attention to your family.

Self-Confidence is Key

At the end of each season, the college I worked for administered evaluations to the players in the program to anonymously rank and give feedback about the coaching staff.

A comment I received one year has stuck with me ever since:

“Coach Schirm would be more effective if he displayed more confidence.”

This was particulary hard for me to read because it confirmed one of my deepest fears:

Other people don’t think I’m confident.

The reality is that I don’t often feel confident. I’m a very skeptical person, even about my own beliefs.

I trace my lack of condidence as a coach back to my third point above: I didn’t define bedrock principles and standards that I would live by and to which I would hold others accountable.

Action Steps:

Define what you stand for. These are your foundational beliefs that you will live (and “die”) for.

Understand that confidence is an emotion, not a state of being. You will feel confident sometimes and not unconfident sometimes. This is natural. Don’t beat yourself up inside when you don’t feel confident. Go back to your principles.

Practice speaking every day. Those who are perceived as confident are generally very good speakers. This is a skill you can develop.

Create a System for Evaluations

As a college coach, I didn’t have a clearly defined method or system for evaluating players to determine playing time.

This led to confusion from my players.

I met with the players consistently to give them feedback, but I was often too vague and didn’t share EXACTLY where they stand on the depth chart for fear of hurting their feelings.

This was counterproductive.

My players wanted (and deserved) more clarity, even if it was news they didn’t want to hear.

Action Steps:

Develop a system for evaluating those you’re leading and stick to it. Communicate the system clearly on the front end and don’t sway from it on the back end.

Define WHAT is being evaluated, HOW those things will be evaluated, and WHO will be evaluating.

This was difficult for me to write in parts because I still feel some shame for not meeting my own expectations as a coach.

This piece, however, will serve as a roadmap of things I will improve should I decide to coach again…and I hope it will serve as a roadmap for young and/or aspiring coaches to avoid some of the pitfalls I experienced.

Thank you for reading!

Matt